A bully is not all inclusive. Bullies are many. Boys, Girls, Grown Ups.
Its widespread and can happen anywhere. It should NOT be accepted as "kids just being kids" or kids just fooling around, any should never be accepted as a phase.
What are different forms of bullying?
1. Repetition
2. Imbalance of power
3. Intent to harm
Bullying can take on the form of many things:
1. Verbal
2. Physical
3. Social
4. Cyberbullying
Everyday in our country kids wake up and are afraid to go to school. They can suffer anxiety, depression and increased episodes of sadness and lonliness among other things. Some kids are very good at hiding this but inside they are hurting. These feelings can last well into adulthood. Bullies tend to bully those who may act different and look different. Bullies seldom bully when no one else is around, they want an audience, they want to feel powerful.
Bullying should never be tolerated. Too many times a bully will say if you tell, you are a tattle tale. This drives even more fear into our kids. Teach your children to tell a trusted adult, mom or dad, grandparents, a teacher. We cannot fail our kids. Education is key and we have to continue to raise awareness about this very important issue. To put our heads in the sand and act like its not going on is irresponsible and could be considered illegal.
I recently proposed a bully box at our school. The idea is so simple. You provide a box, something like a Valentines Box that can remain confidential. You could either have short forms to fill our or blank pages of paper. Kids could use the bully box as an outlet if they are being bullied, saw someone bully or even "think" they may be being bullied. The papers could be looked at by an administrator to "weed out" issues like my friend would not sit with me at lunch or those girls won't play with me today. They then could be passed on to the social worker. The social worker and administrator could now know something that they may not have known about before. If this kind of system helps just one person, it is a success. Lots of times there are some kids who know a person is being bullied. This could also help them communicate what they are seeing happen. Being able to express this kind of thing is so important and kids may not want to go to a teacher because they don't want to be labeled a tattle tale. Its a terrible cycle. I don't know if the bully box will be implemented. It could be called anything if they don't want to use the word bully. What do you think?
If the bullying gets worse and you need additional help, consider the following if:
Someone is at immediate risk of harm because of bullying.....Call the police 911
Your child is feeling suicidal because of bullying.....Contact the suicide prevention hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
Your child’s teacher is not keeping your child safe from being bullied.....Contact local school administrator (principal or superintendent)
Your school is not keeping your child safe from being bullied.....Contact the State School Department
Your child is sick, stressed, not sleeping, or is having other problems because of bullying..... Contact your counselor or other health professional
Your child is bullied because of their race, ethnicity, or disability and local help is not working to solve the problem.....Contact the U.S. Department of Education’s Office on Civil Rights
http://www.stopbullying.gov/topics/get_help/index.html
I like the idea of a bully box, depending on how it is implemented. It should only be used to let teachers know of a possible problem that causes them to watch or investigate the situation. I don't think a kid should be immediately pulled into the office if an accusation is placed against them, because there are kids who would make up a story just to get a rival in trouble.
ReplyDeleteIf a victim is mentioned, that's the person school officials should speak with. They should verify the accuracy of the complaint (or lack thereof), and only then take action. (Whether it's to instruct teachers to keep a closer eye on that student, or taking corrective action with the student).
I also agree, the box should be called something else. Maybe the "Stand Up" or "Step Up" box. Something that illustrates that kids are doing right by utilizing the resource to help protect themselves and others.
Great post on a topic of serious importance.
I think the bully box is a good idea for younger kids, but I don't think it would work for older kids. People would vandilize it or put inappropriate comments in the box.
ReplyDeleteI really like what you are posting about. Bulling is a huge problem at my school, and our school district, there have been 9 suicides recently, and nothing the adm,inistration does seems to stop the bullying or the suicides. you can read the full story about my school district here: http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/one-towns-war-on-gay-teens-20120202 Many adults are saying that it is biased and wrong, but I think it is accurate, considering it is my school district. Keep up the anti-bullying crusade, I'm sure you are helping someone! :)
I am so sorry to hear about the recent tragedies at your district. That must be terribly hard to process. It is so important to hear from you. I will read your article and I truly hope things can get turned around. A bully box, or stand up box or whatever name you want to call it is just another option. Kids need outlets and they need to be able to feel safe. I agree, it probably would not work as well with older kids. In our district, the middle school has a Dear XXXX, its kind of along the lines of dear abby. The elementary school has recently launched a no bully campaign and although there is no bully box, there are posters everywhere and discussions are happening. It is so good to see that people are talking about it and bringing it into the open. I hope it continues and I wish you all the best. Keep your voice and continue to raise awareness. Thank you Rachael.
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